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Love. Commit. Endure. Give.
This holiday season is not about what you do, where you go, what you eat. It’s not about what you bought. It’s not even about who you were with. It’s about how you loved, how much you loved and how you gave away that love.
I realize that loving others might feel like the last thing you want to do right now: you may be feeling depressed, rejected, ignored… I get that. But today I hope you will consider the challenge to step outside of yourself and what you may be feeling because the outcome could make a bigger difference than you realize.
Today is a challenge toward love because Christmas is about celebrating the birth of the One who came as Love. The One who came to earth and sacrificed Himself, loving others as no one ever has or ever will.
Isaiah 61 says the reason He came was to preach the Good News, to heal the brokenhearted, to open prison doors, to give us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and a garment of praise instead of a heavy and hardening heart.
It is my utmost belief that Jesus wants to do that for you this holiday season. And as you let His love do a work in your heart, would you in turn open your heart to others?
How to begin?
Remember that love is a choice and we can choose to commit to love. Do this by defending, caring for, standing up for, believing in and supporting someone that God has called you to. Commitment is something that is becoming more and more foreign in our culture. But it’s something we are called to and we must heed that calling.
“She gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford…she gave her all”
(Mark 12)
This widow mentioned in Scripture gave a small amount compared to others around her, but she gave everything she had and Jesus noticed. She reminds me of those who have given beyond our culture’s call of duty: the one that tells us it’s fine to be selfish, to hoard, to withhold, and to give up on people, causes and commitments when times are hard. We need more courageous men and women like the woman in Mark 12 who would step beyond culture’s dangerously low expectation and instead commit to give and to love in big ways, even when it might hurt. Or even when we ourselves are already hurting.
The challenge more specifically for you and for me is to endure and to give.
First of all, endure the holiday stress, anxiety, grieving, loneliness and depression. I know it feels real awful for some of you right about now, but persevere because it will come to an end (even if it feels never-ending right now) and also because you are worth getting to the other side.
Secondly, endure hardship, pain, accusation, or whatever we may come up against in the call to commitment and love. I have no doubt that some of you reading this right now are contemplating calling it quits on something. I encourage you to push through worry, fear, doubt, gossip, discomfort, pain, etc, and persevere in the commitments that you are called to. Stick it out one more day. And then another.
No doubt it is those who chose to never give up on me that have made all the difference in my life. Now I want to give that gift to someone else. And I hope you will too.
So give love and commitment as gifts this Christmas.
Give even when you know you won’t get it back.
Give extravagantly.
Give beyond what you think you can afford to give.
Give your all.
One day you will see the difference it made: not just in your life but in someone else’s too.
Love you,
Nicole Bromley
#cambodia #orphan #love #laughter #jesus #missions #endslavery
Worldwide, 121 million people suffer from depression.
2/3 of them never get help.
Untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide.
“We are the numbers. We can change the numbers. It starts with the first step.” -To Write Love On Her Arms
The World Health Organization reports that survivors of sexual assault are:
3 times more likely to suffer from depression.
6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
AND
4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.
Friend, I know life is hard and for survivors of abuse, it can be horrific…but have hope…things can get better. Know that your voice is important. Your story matters. You have a purpose here. Please hang on.
You are not alone.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Love. Commit. Endure. Give. This holiday season is not about what you do, where you go, what you eat. It’s not about what you bought. It’s not even about who you were with. It’s about how you loved, how much you loved and how you gave away that love. I realize that loving others might feel like the last thing you want to do right now: you may be feeling depressed, rejected, ignored… I get that. But today I hope you will consider the challenge to step outside of yourself and what you may be feeling because the outcome could make a bigger difference than you realize. Today is a challenge toward love because Christmas is about celebrating the birth of the One who came as Love. The One who came to earth and sacrificed Himself, loving others as no one ever has or ever will. Isaiah 61 says the reason He came was to preach the Good News, to heal the brokenhearted, to open prison doors, to give us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and a garment of praise instead of a heavy and hardening heart. It is my utmost belief that Jesus wants to do that for you this holiday season. And as you let His love do a work in your heart, would you in turn open your heart to others? How to begin? Remember that love is a choice and we can choose to commit to love. Do this by defending, caring for, standing up for, believing in and supporting someone that God has called you to. Commitment is something that is becoming more and more foreign in our culture. But it’s something we are called to and we must heed that calling. “She gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford…she gave her all” (Mark 12) This widow mentioned in Scripture gave a small amount compared to others around her, but she gave everything she had and Jesus noticed. She reminds me of those who have given beyond our culture’s call of duty: the one that tells us it’s fine to be selfish, to hoard, to withhold, and to give up on people, causes and commitments when times are hard. We need more courageous men and women like the woman in Mark 12 who would step beyond culture’s dangerously low expectation and instead commit to give and to love in big ways, even when it might hurt. Or even when we ourselves are already hurting. The challenge more specifically for you and for me is to endure and to give. First of all, endure the holiday stress, anxiety, grieving, loneliness and depression. I know it feels real awful for some of you right about now, but persevere because it will come to an end (even if it feels never-ending right now) and also because you are worth getting to the other side. Secondly, endure hardship, pain, accusation, or whatever we may come up against in the call to commitment and love. I have no doubt that some of you reading this right now are contemplating calling it quits on something. I encourage you to push through worry, fear, doubt, gossip, discomfort, etc, and persevere in the commitments that you are called to. Stick it out one more day. And then another. No doubt it is those who chose to never give up on me that have made all the difference in my life. Now I want to give that gift to someone else. And I hope you will too. So give love and commitment as gifts this Christmas. Give even when you know you won’t get it back. Give extravagantly. Give beyond what you think you can afford to give. Give your all. One day you will see the difference it made: not just in your life but in someone else’s too. Love you, Nicole Bromley
Focus on today. As survivors of abuse, we are easily tempted to look at our past in a way that can drown us in feelings of regret, resent and remorse—especially during the holidays or special milestones. Although I recognize the importance of looking back in order to move forward (I talk about this process a great deal in both of my books), I want to challenge you today to focus more on the present than on the past. If our focus is always on what’s behind us, we could very well miss out on what is available to us today. And if we can’t see what is around us now, we will put our good relationships and potential opportunities this holiday season at great risk. We have to shift our vision to that which is right here, right now: the life, relationships, opportunities and hope which are sure to be in our immediate path. So remove the mirrored goggles placed on you from your past and focus in on the present, while looking toward the future. The pain of yesterday may never go away completely, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy tomorrow. And if tomorrow is going to be anything different than yesterday, we must make a decision today to shift our eyes off the tiny rearview mirror and pay closer attention to the path before us. I believe there’s a reason your windshield is so much bigger than your rearview mirror—it’s because your future is so much bigger than your past! Who has God placed in your life recently that gives you life and hope and encouragement? Don’t ignore them. Who has He placed in your life recently that needs your life, hope and encouragement? Don’t neglect them. What responsibilities do you have now? Who or what is counting on you to live and engage in the present? Where can you make a difference today? May our prayer be this:“Lord, what does it look like to love and serve you…TODAY?” 
Create new traditions.
A fave quote from one of my fave movies, Elf, goes like this: ”We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup.”
Some of us are like Buddy the Elf. We prefer to stick to the same things every holiday season: the same cookies, the same music, the same decorations, the same outings, with the same people, in the same town, year after year. Don’t get me wrong—a good tradition can make the holidays nostalgic, memorable, warm, exciting and fun! But we should acknowledge here that it can make life hard for some, too.
If an old holiday tradition relates you back to a bad memory or maybe a good memory that you are grieving a loss from, then consider taking a break from it this year — or getting rid of the tradition in your holiday plans forever.
Remember: there is no right or wrong way to do the holidays. Make up your own traditions!
If Christmas caroling makes you wanna vom because you did that every year with the family that abused and abandoned you, then this year take some friends to the local homeless shelter and serve a meal instead. Or visit with some lonely grammas and grampas in your town’s assisted living center. Instead of taking a full weekend to bake your Great-Aunt Yolanda’s famous cut-out cookies, go for a long walk with a friend, build a ginormous snowman with your kids, or get tickets for the Nutcracker Ballet.
As you create new positive associations with the holidays, you can replace the negative ones, turning a horrible holiday season into a happier one.
Do you have a favorite tradition? Or recommendations for survivors looking for new ideas this year?
A favorite new tradition for me is curling up with a soft blanket, a cup of hot cocoa and watching ELF — it brings out my high-pitched kid laugh, year after year!
~Nicole
For much of my early life I was misinformed: I falsely believed that love was just a feeling. Or it was simply an emotion. Now I know that love is a choice. And we get to choose it — or not choose it.
In every moment. Every circumstance. Every encounter, relationship, conversation, reaction…we get to choose either love or we get to choose whatever opposes it.
I like this little snippet by Max Lucado, called “I Choose Love”:
It’s quiet. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.
In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.
For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary. I’m free to choose. And so I choose.
I choose love…
No occasion justifies hatred: no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.
It is certainly not always easy—everything opposes love—but in everything, love is the greatest and best choice. So, I’m doing my best to choose love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Peering out, everything’s still. Glassy trees, shiny hills. A beautiful spill. From the clouds above. White as a dove. Perfect uniform covering, fits like a glove. But in need of a shove. Or an act of Love. In order to break free.
Why? Well, life is beneath…it’s just frozen and ensheathed. Chattering teeth. Fear that can’t breathe. Stuck in her seat, a heart struggles to beat.
We’re just like those trees.
They’re chained and constrained by freezing rain. We’re restrained and contained within walls of our pain. But Truth still remains. There’s an end to the rain; blood rushes back through our veins. Identity’s not found in our stains. Nor in what chains…us.
It’s only in the One who made us. Who claims us.
He’s not like the others; He won’t play us. Or betray us. He says “Trust…
For there’s beauty in this season. Purpose and reason. I’ll hold you when you’re freezin. We’ll get through this storm. I’m the One who can help—it’s not on you to perform—but I who transforms.
Death to life. Evil to good. That my job, Girl. Plant your roots in my ‘hood!”
~Nicole (AKA DJ Nick-izzole)
*Thanks for letting me publicly display my elementary white girl attempt at fly rhymes. haha.
