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Nicole Bromley talks Safe Relationships and Healing from Sexual Abuse.
You have the power to choose. Like me, many of you had an abuser who was also a parent in your home. If this is the case, know that you are not alone in the anxiety you may feel around the holidays. As a child, this was a period of time when you had no place to go. While your classmates were looking forward to a break from school, you were dreading it. While your friends were relaxing in their warm homes and enjoying family game-night, you were looking for ways to stay busy, safe and far from the one who might hurt you again. Vacation from school, for many of you, meant more time with your abuser; it is understandable why the holidays would feel unsafe to you and also understandable as to why you struggle to feel safe now. But remember that you are no longer a child under the rules of controlling or abusive parents. You now have the power to choose. One of the choices you get to make is where you will spend the holiday. If you feel uncomfortable, anxious, fearful, etc about the location of your family’s holiday gathering… or if the company planning to attend makes it hard to breathe or feel as if your blood might curdle, it’s okay to say “no” this year.
Or maybe you decide to go, but make a plan to leave early with something else lined up for when you leave. Whatever you choose, make that decision and then move on. Don’t let any negative response you receive eat away at you. It’s time to make healthy decisions for you and your family now.
Another choice you get to make is who you will spend your time with over the holidays and how you will celebrate. Choose to empower yourself with positive, loving people from your inner “circle of inspiration” and celebrate in a way that is fun and freeing for all of you. (Circle of Inspiration is a term used in my book, Breathe) Yielding to the power of those who abuse will weaken you and freeze you in your tracks. But setting boundaries and making healthy choices on where and who you will spend the holiday this year will strengthen you, moving you forward on your healing journey. And that is a great thing! Be blessed! :) Nicole
You have the power to choose.
Like me, many of you had an abuser who was also a parent in your home. If this is the case, know that you are not alone in the anxiety you may feel around the holidays. As a child, this was a period of time when you had no place to go. While your classmates were looking forward to a break from school, you were dreading it. While your friends were relaxing in their warm homes and enjoying family game-night, you were looking for ways to stay busy, safe and far from the one who might hurt you again. Vacation from school, for many of you, meant more time with your abuser; it is understandable why the holidays would feel unsafe to you and also understandable as to why you struggle to feel safe now.
But remember that you are no longer a child under the rules of controlling or abusive parents. You now have the power to choose.
One of the choices you get to make is where you will spend the holiday. If you feel uncomfortable, anxious, fearful, etc about the location of your family’s holiday gathering… or if the company planning to attend makes it hard to breathe or feel as if your blood might curdle, it’s okay to say “no” this year. You don’t have to go. Make a decision to care for yourself and your family, whatever that looks like. Maybe you and your circle of inspiration decide it’s best to take a break altogether from the big family gathering this year. Or maybe you decide to go, but make a plan to leave early with something else lined up for when you leave. Whatever you choose, make that decision and then move on. Don’t let any negative response you receive eat away at you. It’s time to make healthy decisions for you and your family now.
Another choice you get to make is who you will spend your time with over the holidays and how you will celebrate. Choose to empower yourself with positive, loving people from your inner “circle of inspiration” and celebrate in a way that is fun and freeing for all of you. (Circle of Inspiration is a term used in my book, Breathe)
Yielding to the power of those who abuse will weaken you and freeze you in your tracks. But setting boundaries and making healthy choices on where and who you will spend the holiday this year will strengthen you, moving you forward on your healing journey. And that is a great thing! Be blessed! :)
