OneVOICE Babble

Holiday Survival: Day 11

Love. Commit. Endure. Give.

This holiday season is not about what you do, where you go, what you eat. It’s not about what you bought. It’s not even about who you were with. It’s about how you loved, how much you loved and how you gave away that love.

I realize that loving others might feel like the last thing you want to do right now: you may be feeling depressed, rejected, ignored…  I get that. But today I hope you will consider the challenge to step outside of yourself and what you may be feeling because the outcome could make a bigger difference than you realize.

Today is a challenge toward love because Christmas is about celebrating the birth of the One who came as Love. The One who came to earth and sacrificed Himself, loving others as no one ever has or ever will. 

Isaiah 61 says the reason He came was to preach the Good News, to heal the brokenhearted, to open prison doors, to give us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and a garment of praise instead of a heavy and hardening heart. 

It is my utmost belief that Jesus wants to do that for you this holiday season. And as you let His love do a work in your heart, would you in turn open your heart to others?

How to begin?

Remember that love is a choice and we can choose to commit to love. Do this by defending, caring for, standing up for, believing in and supporting someone that God has called you to. Commitment is something that is becoming more and more foreign in our culture. But it’s something we are called to and we must heed that calling.

“She gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford…she gave her all”

(Mark 12)

This widow mentioned in Scripture gave a small amount compared to others around her, but she gave everything she had and Jesus noticed. She reminds me of those who have given beyond our culture’s call of duty: the one that tells us it’s fine to be selfish, to hoard, to withhold, and to give up on people, causes and commitments when times are hard. We need more courageous men and women like the woman in Mark 12 who would step beyond culture’s dangerously low expectation and instead commit to give and to love in big ways, even when it might hurt. Or even when we ourselves are already hurting. 

The challenge more specifically for you and for me is to endure and to give.

First of all, endure the holiday stress, anxiety, grieving, loneliness and depression. I know it feels real awful for some of you right about now, but persevere because it will come to an end (even if it feels never-ending right now) and also because you are worth getting to the other side.

Secondly, endure hardship, pain, accusation, or whatever we may come up against in the call to commitment and love. I have no doubt that some of you reading this right now are contemplating calling it quits on something. I encourage you to push through worry, fear, doubt, gossip, discomfort, etc, and persevere in the commitments that you are called to. Stick it out one more day. And then another.

No doubt it is those who chose to never give up on me that have made all the difference in my life. Now I want to give that gift to someone else. And I hope you will too.

So give love and commitment as gifts this Christmas.

Give even when you know you won’t get it back.

Give extravagantly.

Give beyond what you think you can afford to give.

Give your all.

One day you will see the difference it made: not just in your life but in someone else’s too.

Love you,

Nicole Bromley

Holiday Survival: Day 4

You have the power to choose.

Like me, many of you had an abuser who was also a parent in your home. If this is the case, know that you are not alone in the anxiety you may feel around the holidays. As a child, this was a period of time when you had no place to go. While your classmates were looking forward to a break from school, you were dreading it. While your friends were relaxing in their warm homes and enjoying family game-night, you were looking for ways to stay busy, safe and far from the one who might hurt you again. Vacation from school, for many of you, meant more time with your abuser; it is understandable why the holidays would feel unsafe to you and also understandable as to why you struggle to feel safe now. 

But remember that you are no longer a child under the rules of controlling or abusive parents. You now have the power to choose.

One of the choices you get to make is where you will spend the holiday. If you feel uncomfortable, anxious, fearful, etc about the location of your family’s holiday gathering… or if the company planning to attend makes it hard to breathe or feel as if your blood might curdle, it’s okay to say “no” this year. 

Or maybe you decide to go, but make a plan to leave early with something else lined up for when you leave. Whatever you choose, make that decision and then move on. Don’t let any negative response you receive eat away at you. It’s time to make healthy decisions for you and your family now.

Another choice you get to make is who you will spend your time with over the holidays and how you will celebrate. Choose to empower yourself with positive, loving people from your inner “circle of inspiration” and celebrate in a way that is fun and freeing for all of you. (Circle of Inspiration is a term used in my book, Breathe) 

Yielding to the power of those who abuse will weaken you and freeze you in your tracks. But setting boundaries and making healthy choices on where and who you will spend the holiday this year will strengthen you, moving you forward on your healing journey. And that is a great thing!

Be blessed!

:) Nicole

I Choose Love.

For much of my early life I was misinformed: I falsely believed that love was just a feeling. Or it was simply an emotion. Now I know that love is a choice. And we get to choose it — or not choose it.

In every moment. Every circumstance. Every encounter, relationship, conversation, reaction…we get to choose either love or we get to choose whatever opposes it.

I like this little snippet by Max Lucado, called “I Choose Love”:  

            It’s quiet. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.
            In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.
            For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary.  I’m free to choose.  And so I choose.
            I choose love…
            No occasion justifies hatred: no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

It is certainly not always easy—everything opposes love—but in everything, love is the greatest and best choice. So, I’m doing my best to choose love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.   

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Holiday Survival 101: Day 4

You have the power to choose.

Like me, many of you had an abuser who was also a parent in your home. If this is the case, know that you are not alone in the anxiety you may feel around the holidays. As a child, this was a period of time when you had no place to go. While your classmates were looking forward to a break from school, you were dreading it. While your friends were relaxing in their warm homes and enjoying family game-night, you were looking for ways to stay busy, safe and far from the one who might hurt you again. Vacation from school, for many of you, meant more time with your abuser; it is understandable why the holidays would feel unsafe to you and also understandable as to why you struggle to feel safe now. 

But remember that you are no longer a child under the rules of controlling or abusive parents. You now have the power to choose.

One of the choices you get to make is where you will spend the holiday. If you feel uncomfortable, anxious, fearful, etc about the location of your family’s holiday gathering… or if the company planning to attend makes it hard to breathe or feel as if your blood might curdle, it’s okay to say “no” this year. You don’t have to go. Make a decision to care for yourself and your family, whatever that looks like. Maybe you and your circle of inspiration decide it’s best to take a break altogether from the big family gathering this year. Or maybe you decide to go, but make a plan to leave early with something else lined up for when you leave. Whatever you choose, make that decision and then move on. Don’t let any negative response you receive eat away at you. It’s time to make healthy decisions for you and your family now.

Another choice you get to make is who you will spend your time with over the holidays and how you will celebrate. Choose to empower yourself with positive, loving people from your inner “circle of inspiration” and celebrate in a way that is fun and freeing for all of you. (Circle of Inspiration is a term used in my book, Breathe) 

Yielding to the power of those who abuse will weaken you and freeze you in your tracks. But setting boundaries and making healthy choices on where and who you will spend the holiday this year will strengthen you, moving you forward on your healing journey. And that is a great thing! Be blessed! :)