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Nicole Braddock Bromley & OneVOICE enterprises
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In Touch Magazine article by Nicole Bromley, based on her book Breathe.
A least one out of every three women and one out of every six men have experienced some form of sexual abuse. Regardless of the circumstances of the violation, every survivor can attest that it will impact relationships with parents, friends, spouses, children, and God. Sexual abuse survivors are often left feeling isolated and without anyone to trust. But it does not have to be this way.
Nicole Braddock Bromley understands the fears and anxieties victims face as they seek to build healthy relationships after sexual abuse. As a survivor herself, Nicole offers readers the power and hope necessary to share their story, build intimacy, and develop healthy communication in all their relationships.
Breathe also serves as a helpful tool for those in relationship with an abuse survivor by providing guidance, confidence, and encouragement as they seek to help and support.
Nicole Bromley talks Safe Relationships and Healing from Sexual Abuse.
Article from Nicole Bromley’s 2012 visit to Charleston Southern University
Nicole Bromley has been telling her story to high school and college students for more than a decade. Each time she shares her experience, without fail, someone comes forward to break his or her personal silence for the first time.
“Every time it feels less and less like my story,” said Bromley. “I think there’s a lot of power in going second. Me sharing my story, if anything, my hope is it gives empowerment to someone else to say, ‘me too.’”
Bromley is a victim of childhood sexual abuse. She was molested by her step-father as a teenager.
Bromley was 15 years old when she first told her story to a public audience. One year after she confessed to her mother, Bromley, without prompting, stepped in front of hundreds of teenage summer campers and shared her testimony. She said she doesn’t even remember walking up to the microphone; in fact, most of it is a blur now, except what she told the nameless faces staring back at her. Bromley told her story, each event more painful than the last.
In the days and weeks after summer camp, Bromley saw her awkward, painful memory undergo a transformation. She started receiving letters from fellow campers sharing their personal stories of abuse.
“As hard as it was to tell my story, if it helped someone else tell theirs, it was worth it,” said Bromley. “I felt called to be a voice to the voiceless.”
A voice to the voiceless, it was a phrase that Bromley “packed away” in her head throughout high school. In college, Bromley began serving in areas where people were hurting and “struggling with the brokenness of life.” Her story, combined with her college experiences led what we know today as One Voice Enterprises, Bromley’s organized message of hope.
Bromley credits God’s grace for her circumstances. When she looks back on the last 15 years of her life she is blown away. Bromley married, has two children and a worldwide ministry.
“Life without God is an equation,” she said. “But with God there are endless possibilities. He can take the worst stories and turn them into something great. Healing is a life-long journey. I still have to deal with my abuse, but it’s not my identity.”
Now more than ever Bromley knows she is not alone. Her one time little secret is out. Bromley asked CSU students to “help me break the silence of sexual abuse … make an important decision to share your story with someone here,” she said. “For sure there is someone here who has been through a similar experience. It cuts across every boundary … I am a statistic; I hate statistics.”
Bromley’s first book, Hush, was released in 2007. She also released a second book in 2009 titled Breathe. For more information, visit OneVOICEenterprises.com
You have the power to choose. Like me, many of you had an abuser who was also a parent in your home. If this is the case, know that you are not alone in the anxiety you may feel around the holidays. As a child, this was a period of time when you had no place to go. While your classmates were looking forward to a break from school, you were dreading it. While your friends were relaxing in their warm homes and enjoying family game-night, you were looking for ways to stay busy, safe and far from the one who might hurt you again. Vacation from school, for many of you, meant more time with your abuser; it is understandable why the holidays would feel unsafe to you and also understandable as to why you struggle to feel safe now. But remember that you are no longer a child under the rules of controlling or abusive parents. You now have the power to choose. One of the choices you get to make is where you will spend the holiday. If you feel uncomfortable, anxious, fearful, etc about the location of your family’s holiday gathering… or if the company planning to attend makes it hard to breathe or feel as if your blood might curdle, it’s okay to say “no” this year.
Or maybe you decide to go, but make a plan to leave early with something else lined up for when you leave. Whatever you choose, make that decision and then move on. Don’t let any negative response you receive eat away at you. It’s time to make healthy decisions for you and your family now.
Another choice you get to make is who you will spend your time with over the holidays and how you will celebrate. Choose to empower yourself with positive, loving people from your inner “circle of inspiration” and celebrate in a way that is fun and freeing for all of you. (Circle of Inspiration is a term used in my book, Breathe) Yielding to the power of those who abuse will weaken you and freeze you in your tracks. But setting boundaries and making healthy choices on where and who you will spend the holiday this year will strengthen you, moving you forward on your healing journey. And that is a great thing! Be blessed! :) Nicole
Whether it’s the added poundage put on from consuming one too many egg nog shakes from the Mickey-D’s drive-thru, or whether it’s more serious like grief, loneliness, triggers or anxiety coming from circumstances such as loss, addiction or abuse… the holidays, for some of us, can… well… SUCK.
Just tryin to keep it real here…
I have found that, for many abuse survivors specifically, Halloween through New Year’s often feels like an internal war zone. And that breaks my heart. It shouldn’t be that way. I say it’s time to reclaim this chunk of the year and it’s my hope that you will join me. :)
Tune in to this blog every day through Christmas for a “Tip-A-Day” to get through the holidays. And as you do, I pray God gives you a peace that passes understanding during this sometimes difficult season.
Nicole
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Holiday Survival 101: DAY 1
You are not alone.
In the movie, A Charlie Brown Christmas, we find Charlie sharing honestly with his dear pal, Linus: “I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.”
I think Charlie helps us to recognize the high expectation that the season, family, friends, etc, place on us. He also serves as a good example of how to be honest about our feelings with those we trust.
Have you ever noticed when you are willing and courageous enough to share your innermost thoughts and feelings with others, you often come to realize you are not alone?
Make time to confide in someone you trust about the emotions the holidays bring up for you. And take time to listen to someone else’s story, too. There is healing in sharing…and in caring. Be intentional about surrounding yourself with your “circle of inspiration” and the holidays won’t feel as drab as Charlie’s tree this year.
* * * * * * * * * *
(reblogged from 12/2010)
You have the power to choose.
Like me, many of you had an abuser who was also a parent in your home. If this is the case, know that you are not alone in the anxiety you may feel around the holidays. As a child, this was a period of time when you had no place to go. While your classmates were looking forward to a break from school, you were dreading it. While your friends were relaxing in their warm homes and enjoying family game-night, you were looking for ways to stay busy, safe and far from the one who might hurt you again. Vacation from school, for many of you, meant more time with your abuser; it is understandable why the holidays would feel unsafe to you and also understandable as to why you struggle to feel safe now.
But remember that you are no longer a child under the rules of controlling or abusive parents. You now have the power to choose.
One of the choices you get to make is where you will spend the holiday. If you feel uncomfortable, anxious, fearful, etc about the location of your family’s holiday gathering… or if the company planning to attend makes it hard to breathe or feel as if your blood might curdle, it’s okay to say “no” this year. You don’t have to go. Make a decision to care for yourself and your family, whatever that looks like. Maybe you and your circle of inspiration decide it’s best to take a break altogether from the big family gathering this year. Or maybe you decide to go, but make a plan to leave early with something else lined up for when you leave. Whatever you choose, make that decision and then move on. Don’t let any negative response you receive eat away at you. It’s time to make healthy decisions for you and your family now.
Another choice you get to make is who you will spend your time with over the holidays and how you will celebrate. Choose to empower yourself with positive, loving people from your inner “circle of inspiration” and celebrate in a way that is fun and freeing for all of you. (Circle of Inspiration is a term used in my book, Breathe)
Yielding to the power of those who abuse will weaken you and freeze you in your tracks. But setting boundaries and making healthy choices on where and who you will spend the holiday this year will strengthen you, moving you forward on your healing journey. And that is a great thing! Be blessed! :)
Nicole Bromley discusses topics from her latest book, Breathe: Finding Freedom to Thrive in Relationships after Childhood Sexual Abuse (Part 1 of a 3 part video series)
