December 2011
14 posts
5 tags
“
If you believe in Christmas—that God became a human being—you have an ability...”
– Tim Keller
12 tags
Holiday Survival: BONUS Day 13
What matters.
This weekend as we celebrate SweetBabyJesus, we must also remember that He was a man!
From the cradle in a manger to the cross on Calvary, Jesus came to earth, humbled Himself to the point of death, serving as a sacrifice for my sins and yours. He was resurrected and one day that same Jesus is coming back to judge the living and the dead and will be chauffeuring those of us who...
13 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 12
(reblog from Christmas week 2010)
Make room.
I write to you as I sit in the upper room of my parents’ home, looking down at the infant boy sleeping next to me. The beauty of my son astounds me. And I am not a “baby person” if you know what I mean. But that piece doesn’t come into play when you have had this precious one forming inside of your womb for nine months.
I will never forget when one...
12 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 11
Love. Commit. Endure. Give.
This holiday season is not about what you do, where you go, what you eat. It’s not about what you bought. It’s not even about who you were with. It’s about how you loved, how much you loved and how you gave away that love.
I realize that loving others might feel like the last thing you want to do right now: you may be feeling depressed, rejected, ignored… I get...
13 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 10
Just a couple quick ones today…
Understand your priorities. Know your personal limits. Set boundaries with respect to both this week.
Remember: it can be good and healthy to say “no” to others. And it can be good and healthy to say “yes” to yourself.
And, lastly, SMILE…for no good reason!
If someone asks, “Why are you smiling like that?” Answer like our good friend Buddy the Elf: “I just...
24 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 9
Reach out and welcome in.
During the holiday season we see suicide rates rise, alcoholics fall off the wagon and marriages crumble. Everyone is trying to survive the holiday…but many are not doing it well. If we want to not only survive the holiday season, but to thrive in it, we need to consider ways we can make the holiday better for someone else.
If you have decided to set a boundary so...
21 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 8
Focus on today.
As survivors of abuse, we are easily tempted to look at our past in a way that can drown us in feelings of regret, resent and remorse—especially during the holidays or special milestones. Although I recognize the importance of looking back in order to move forward (I talk about this process a great deal in both of my books), I want to challenge you today to focus more on the...
20 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 7
Be a kid again.
“Sometimes I wish I were a kid again; skinned knees are a lot easier to fix than a broken heart.” (Unknown Author)
Let’s all commit to play—and play hard! Think back to an activity you loved as a child, one that you never engage in anymore. And then go do it! Be spontaneous. I don’t care if it you have to go buy a fresh new set of Lincoln Logs, if you have to take a drive to...
17 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 6
(reblogged from December 2010, hence the newborn baby references)
Call it like it is.
I am sitting in my living room, next to the baby swing, hoping the constant movement along with soft Christmas music playing in the background will put my 3 month-old to sleep so I can get a moment of “Nicole time.” It’s not working, by the way. But the song playing right now is telling me that “it’s the most...
10 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 5
Sweatpants.
Yeah, I’m serious. In my opinion they are one of the greatest things ever invented—next to air conditioning and peanut butter, of course. This is why you must get yourself into some today. Find a fresh pair of the most comfy ones around, or opt for some footed pajamas (yes, they come in adult sizes now…I checked), curl up somewhere that feels safe, cozy and quiet, and take a...
19 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 4
You have the power to choose.
Like me, many of you had an abuser who was also a parent in your home. If this is the case, know that you are not alone in the anxiety you may feel around the holidays. As a child, this was a period of time when you had no place to go. While your classmates were looking forward to a break from school, you were dreading it. While your friends were relaxing in their...
20 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 3
Be patient with yourself.
If you have had an abusive or traumatic past, its gonna take time to change your negative associations to the holidays into positive ones. Don’t expect too much change too quickly. People often quote me as saying: “Healing is a lifelong journey.” Be encouraged that part of that journey may include reworking and recreating holiday associations and traditions… that...
18 tags
Holiday Survival: Day 2
Create new traditions.
A fave quote from one of my fave movies, Elf, goes like this: ”We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup.”
Some of us are like Buddy the Elf. We prefer to stick to the same things every holiday season: the same cookies, the same music, the same decorations, the same outings, with the same people, in the same town,...
15 tags
When HOLIDAY Feels Like HOLE-OF-A-DAY
Whether it’s the added poundage put on from consuming one too many egg nog shakes from the Mickey-D’s drive-thru, or whether it’s more serious like grief, loneliness, triggers or anxiety coming from circumstances such as loss, addiction or abuse… the holidays, for some of us, can… well… SUCK.
Just tryin to keep it real here…
I have found that, for many abuse survivors specifically, Halloween...
